CELLUROIDS: A Movie Tally Site


Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on June 1, 2010

Date: 5/27       Format: Netflix Instant


Great casting makes this perfectly watchable…it’s a good rent and cuddle. That being said, the two teens spend a shocking amount of time in the pool out back, and more people really should have died.


Starring: Paul Rudd and Romany Malco

Rudd and Malco play brothers from anotha motha that inherit a French Chateau only to find out it is in a state of total disrepair with a staff that has no intention of leaving in peace. It’s kind of like Mr. Blandings meets Mr. Apatow with a cute French girl thrown in for good measure.

It’s worth a watch just to see Rudd trying to speak French…

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CLUE (1985), WILD LIFE (1984), HELL NIGHT (1981)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on June 1, 2010

CLUE (1985)

Director: Jonathan Lynn

Starring: Eileen Brennan, Tim Curry, Madeline Kahn, Colleen Camp and her boobs

The actor that plays Mr. Body is also in WILD LIFE and STREETS OF FIRE. Why is this important? It’s not, really.

WILD LIFE (1984)

Director: Art Linson

Writer: Cameron Crowe

Starring: Eric Stoltz, Chris Penn, Rick Moranis, Lea Thompson, Jenny Wright

This is the forgotten film of the ’80s, but it still served as the template for future teen comedies but the film never gets that acknowledgement. FAST TIMES got all of the attention because of how it dealt with the issue of teen pregnancy. WILD LIFE as all the fun of FAST TIMES, with none of the melodrama. It also features a lazy but somehow note perfect “score” by Eddie Van Halen, who probably just went through his vast collection of recorded licks from 5150 and matched them up accordingly. The film still hasn’t been released on DVD, but it will get its due soon enough.


Director: Tom DeSimone

Starring: Linda Blair, Vincent Van Patten

Vincent Van Patten is a total noob. I hadn’t seen this since Best of QT Fest in 2006. It’s now OOP, but you can find it if you look. This is my favorite Linda Blair performance, and the first time that she was looked at as a sex symbol. It’s frat horror at its best and I’m sure Platinum Dunes will remake it soon enough…

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QUICK LIST: 5/18-5/23

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 24, 2010


WHAT WOMEN WANT – The chemistry between Gibson and Hunt really is electric, the Sinatra hat-dance is a treat, and if IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE is too heavy for you, this is Capra-lite at its finest.

MEET THE FOCKERS – DeNiro has a man-boob and Gaylord’s parents have a great sex life…and scene. Is THE LITTLE FOCKERS still in the works?

JUST FRIENDS – Ryan Reynolds in a fat suit makes me happy…but not because it’s funny.


RED HOOK – Avoid at all costs! The premise sucks you in, beware! A group of college kids from Jersey go on a NYC scavenger hunt and things go horribly wrong. See? Sounds interesting, right? It’s not. Even if you live in New York, it’s not worth seeing some of your favorite spots and the kills are all off camera and totally generic.

ROBIN HOOD – Bootleg. It slows in the middle and the final battle seems rushed and unimportant but this film is getting bashed up against the rocks unfairly in my opinion. Still, Scott and co. should have injected more of a sense of fun into the proceedings.


FAY GRIM – Technically, you don’t have to see Hal Hartley’s HENRY FOOL in order to enjoy its quirky film noir sequel, but it wouldn’t hurt. Odd angles and odd characters + a rabbit hole of a script make this and most of the director’s movies worth catching.

CANDYMAN – Confession – I’d never seen this all the way through! Great gore, effective melodrama and side-boobage. Who could ask for anything more?

CAVEMAN’S VALENTINE – Samuel L. Jackson is really weird, has dreads and is one helluva piano player. If Romulus Ledbetter (Jackson’s character name in CV), Foxx from THE SOLOIST and Wesley Willis ever form a band, I will be front row. Rodney Eastman aka Joey from Elm Street 3 and 4 also shows off his acting chops in this as well.


HACK! – SCREAM inspired but did that movie have Winnie Cooper, the asshole villain from KARATE KID III, Drusilla and Paulie from ROCKY in it? Didn’t think so!

HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW (1980) – The surreal, sedative-induced sequence at the end of this film makes the movie for me. The killer’s reveal is effective too,  mainly because it delves into the past, revealing one character’s sordid history that the co-eds are suddenly forced to deal with. I would’ve liked to see more praise heaped on this flick when the remake hit, but we were all too caught up with the fact that Princess Leia wields a shotgun and says ‘fuck’ a lot.

STRANGE BEHAVIOR (1981) – Love this flick! Very atmospheric, very creepy and very ahead of its time. The local clinic is giving kids cash to be guinea pigs, but what they don’t know is the fact that they are actually being programmed to kill! Eeek! Great make up effects and a fantastic reveal towards the end make this one surprisingly tense and downright disturbing at times. So of course it comes highly recommended.

THE FAN (1996) – “Do you care now?” This is vintage Tony Scott and although NIN is played way too much throughout the film, it’s a great double feature with TAXI DRIVER or CAPE FEAR and certainly features the best performance by Wesley Snipes to date.


SCREAM – Still fun. Still responsible for the new era of American horror. It’s a classic, whether you like it or not. Deal with it.

INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE – This one is better than I remember it. Neil Jordan did a fine job, but what would a DePalma or Schumaker version have looked like? It’s hard not to think about River Phoenix when seeing Christina Slater on screen, knowing that the young actor was set to play the part of the journalist before his death.

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On Repeat: Elm Street Marathon: The Dream Trilogy & FREDDY’S DEAD

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 21, 2010

Managed to knock out the remaining Nightmare films I hadn’t re-watched since seeing the ELM STREET LEGACY doc. Yep, DREAM CHILD is still the worst, DREAM MASTER is still my fave with FREDDY’S DEAD being a close second. DREAM WARRIORS is the clear winner in terms of mass appeal but I hold parts 4 and 6 in high esteem for personal reasons.

My Dad came into my life again when I was about 1o or so, sat me down, and asked me if it would be okay if we started spending time together after years of being estranged. I said, ‘take me to see DREAM MASTER’ and I’ll think about it. We went that night. When FREDDY’S DEAD came out, me and my friends went to Northcross Mall every Friday for six weeks to see it, bringing more kids with us each time. We owned the theater and Freddy was our hero.

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GRACE (2009)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 21, 2010

Date: 5/14/2010         Format: Netflix Instant

Director: Paul Solet

Starring: Jordan Ladd, a freaky blood thirsty baby

Solet and producer Adam Green joined us on Fangoria Radio several times during the run of GRACE, but I never got around seeing it until now. First of all, I’m grateful for seeing this film in the comfort of my own home vs. a theater here in NYC. Why, you ask? Well, GRACE is probably the ultimate scream-at-the-screen, “Bitch, what the hell you doin?!”, kind of movie I’ve seen in quite some time. The actions of Jordan Ladd – who gives birth to a dead baby that comes back to life with some serious complications – are downright bizarre and utterly unrelatable at times.

Still, she loves the kid, regardless of the fact that it wants blood instead of milk (literally), and the film is a fun, self-contained, squirm-in-your-seat horror flick that deserves the attention it’s gotten. That being said, Adam Green is one helluva promoter, and genre fans should lower their expectations a bit.

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On Repeat: FRIGHT NIGHT 2 (1988), LOST BOYS (1987)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 12, 2010

Date: 5/10/2010

Director: Tommy Lee Wallave  Where’d I watch it? YouTube

Featuring: William Ragsdale, Roddy McDowell, Jon Gries, other people…

Well, it turns out Jerry Dandrige wasn’t an only child, unfortunately. The same qualities that made the original memorable are also on display in FRIGHT NIGHT 2: the offbeat humor, the dynamic between Charley and Peter Vincent, and the hauntingly cheesy combo of synth and electric guitar during the glamor sequences. (During these scenes in both movies, it’s suddenly like watching the white people version of PURPLE RAIN).

Although Ragsdale and McDowell are still a pleasure to watch, the vampiress Regine Dandridge is just not as formidable as the great Chris Sarandon was in the original. Her sidekick looks like he just stepped off the set of a Fine Young Cannibals music video…it’s just laughable. However, Jon Gries (playing a werewolf…again) has some nice moments and Brian Thompson of COBRA and ALIEN NATION fame is also well cast as the guardian of all things that go bump in the night.

Watching it again, it really is one of the better sequels of the ’80s, providing the same comfort factor as the original. The film isn’t as focused and there’s never a real sense of danger, but it’s certainly worth revisiting. It also really made me want to watch ONCE BITTEN and VAMP again!

Fell free to check out my reaction to Colin Farrell being cast in the remake that really just turns into a love fest for the original Here!

LOST BOYS (1987)

Date: 5/10/2010

Director: Joel Schumacher Where’d I watch it? YouTube

Featuring: The Two Corey’s, Jami Gertz, Dianne “Don’t speak” Wiest, Jason Patric, Keifer Sutherland, etc.

You think FREDDY’S REVENGE is gay? The character of Sam is a total Mamma’s boy, has a door poster of Rob Lowe, and puts a stuffed beaver in the closet because he’s scared to look at it! Enough said.

Putting together an editorial with Rusty Gordon about horror flicks with kills before the credits and wanted to make sure LOST BOYS qualified…and sure enough, it does! Too bad I can’t use HALLOWEEN!

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ON REPEAT: Elm Street Marathon: FREDDY’S REVENGE (1985)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 10, 2010

Date: 5/9/2010

Director: Jack Sholder   Format: Torrent

Featuring: Robert Englund, Mark Patton, Robert “Tommy Hook” Rusler, Clu Gulager, Kim Myers

This one has become infamous for its homoerotic subtext…well, actually it’s pretty out in the open isn’t it? That being said, it still has some genuinely horrific moments throughout and the most disturbing imagery of any entry into the series. The new Elm Street doc has some great insight into the production and the cast and crew finally fess up to just how gay – intentionally or accidentally – this sequel really is. It should also be remembered, however, as the last time Freddy was actually scary; when Krueger was still a boogeyman on the brink of pop culture super stardom.

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On Repeat: NEW NIGHTMARE (1994), FREDDY VS JASON (2003)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 9, 2010

Date: 5/9/2010

Director: Wes Craven   Location: Netflix Instant

Starring: Heather Langenkamp, Robert Englund, John Saxon

I look at this film as being the precursor to SCREAM. I think the ideas presented in NEW NIGHTMARE set Craven down the path that eventually led to a deconstruction of the horror movie. Seeing it in the theater, I wasn’t a fan but the film has grown on me, although I still disapprove of Freddy’s organic glove and trench coat.

Date: 5/9/2010

Director: Ronny Yu   Format: Torrent

Starring: Robert England, Ken Kirzinger, Monica Keena, Scott Ritter, other people

This film, for me, will always be connected to the AICN premiere that took place at Camp Ben McCullogh which was transformed for a day into Camp HacknSlash! I remember my take being posted on AICN under the name Dream Warrior but I can’t seem to find it…here’s a link to some coverage of the event, however.

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SPLICE (2010)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 9, 2010

Date: 5/8/2010

Director: Vincenzo Natali   Location: Cinema Village – Fangoria screening

Starring: Adrien Brody, Sarah Polley

Fango had a screening of Vincenzo Natali’s new one at Cinema Village last night and there was a huge turnout. Tony Timpone was telling me people were lining up at 2pm for a midnight screening. Luckily, we had reserved seating and after being tasked with making sure all the VIP’s were in the right section and all accounted for, I took my seat next to my friends to finally see one of the  more anticipated films of the season.

SPLICE was much more contained and intimate than I expected and it’s the better for it. The expectation of the creature Dren to finally take flight and leave the proverbial ranch adds more suspense and tension to the proceedings; a tension that would have been immediately diminished if she/he/it had escaped successfully.

What unfolds instead is a kind of demented yet emotionally engaging love triangle that explores and tests the boundaries of morality and sexuality. The experiment turns intimate, and the science becomes secondary, taking a backseat to the budding relationship our geneticist couple embarks on with their new creation. They grow to love Dren, but the lines between right and wrong blur to the point where they put themselves in a dangerous position that threatens to undue everything they’ve achieved together, professionally and personally.

SPLICE hits every beat to near perfection, and might be responsible for ushering in or at least defining a new era of horror. Films like SPLICE and ISOLATION explore the theme of how what we create ultimately overcomes us and becomes our downfall. What modernizes that idea is the introduction of new science and technology that adds a deeper layer to these kinds of films; a layer that uncovers different avenues for director’s to journey down in the future.

It’s also F**KING BADASS!!!

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Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 8, 2010

Date: 5/06/2010         Format: Bootleg

Director: Hacky McHackerson

Starring: Rorshach, and introducing The Platinum Drones

Commentary via my Twitter feed:

“Watching the new Elm street…these kids should all be called Reynolds cuz they’re plastic wrap. Not a Kincaid or Kristen among em’.”

“Which came first, the mirror or the jump scare?”

“Oh…this is why they remade Elm Street…because Ustream wasn’t around in ’84.”

“Have Heather Langenkamp and Lisa Wilcox return to Springwood and help the Platinum Drones defeat Freddy. Is that so difficult?”

“Body bag retread…check. No Craven cameo this time ’round though.”

“A MICRO-NAP ON ELM STREET is rounding third and heading home…final act in progress.”

“To all of you that saw this in the theater, I will work tirelessly to see that you are paid back in full.”

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