CELLUROIDS: A Movie Tally Site

THE STEPFATHER (2009), THE CHATEAU (2002)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on June 1, 2010

Date: 5/27       Format: Netflix Instant

THE STEPFATHER (2009)

Great casting makes this perfectly watchable…it’s a good rent and cuddle. That being said, the two teens spend a shocking amount of time in the pool out back, and more people really should have died.

THE CHATEAU (2002)

Starring: Paul Rudd and Romany Malco

Rudd and Malco play brothers from anotha motha that inherit a French Chateau only to find out it is in a state of total disrepair with a staff that has no intention of leaving in peace. It’s kind of like Mr. Blandings meets Mr. Apatow with a cute French girl thrown in for good measure.

It’s worth a watch just to see Rudd trying to speak French…

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CLUE (1985), WILD LIFE (1984), HELL NIGHT (1981)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on June 1, 2010

CLUE (1985)

Director: Jonathan Lynn

Starring: Eileen Brennan, Tim Curry, Madeline Kahn, Colleen Camp and her boobs

The actor that plays Mr. Body is also in WILD LIFE and STREETS OF FIRE. Why is this important? It’s not, really.

WILD LIFE (1984)

Director: Art Linson

Writer: Cameron Crowe

Starring: Eric Stoltz, Chris Penn, Rick Moranis, Lea Thompson, Jenny Wright

This is the forgotten film of the ’80s, but it still served as the template for future teen comedies but the film never gets that acknowledgement. FAST TIMES got all of the attention because of how it dealt with the issue of teen pregnancy. WILD LIFE as all the fun of FAST TIMES, with none of the melodrama. It also features a lazy but somehow note perfect “score” by Eddie Van Halen, who probably just went through his vast collection of recorded licks from 5150 and matched them up accordingly. The film still hasn’t been released on DVD, but it will get its due soon enough.

HELL NIGHT (1981)

Director: Tom DeSimone

Starring: Linda Blair, Vincent Van Patten

Vincent Van Patten is a total noob. I hadn’t seen this since Best of QT Fest in 2006. It’s now OOP, but you can find it if you look. This is my favorite Linda Blair performance, and the first time that she was looked at as a sex symbol. It’s frat horror at its best and I’m sure Platinum Dunes will remake it soon enough…

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QUICK LIST: 5/18-5/23

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 24, 2010

5/18

WHAT WOMEN WANT – The chemistry between Gibson and Hunt really is electric, the Sinatra hat-dance is a treat, and if IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE is too heavy for you, this is Capra-lite at its finest.

MEET THE FOCKERS – DeNiro has a man-boob and Gaylord’s parents have a great sex life…and scene. Is THE LITTLE FOCKERS still in the works?

JUST FRIENDS – Ryan Reynolds in a fat suit makes me happy…but not because it’s funny.

5/19

RED HOOK – Avoid at all costs! The premise sucks you in, beware! A group of college kids from Jersey go on a NYC scavenger hunt and things go horribly wrong. See? Sounds interesting, right? It’s not. Even if you live in New York, it’s not worth seeing some of your favorite spots and the kills are all off camera and totally generic.

ROBIN HOOD – Bootleg. It slows in the middle and the final battle seems rushed and unimportant but this film is getting bashed up against the rocks unfairly in my opinion. Still, Scott and co. should have injected more of a sense of fun into the proceedings.

5/21

FAY GRIM – Technically, you don’t have to see Hal Hartley’s HENRY FOOL in order to enjoy its quirky film noir sequel, but it wouldn’t hurt. Odd angles and odd characters + a rabbit hole of a script make this and most of the director’s movies worth catching.

CANDYMAN – Confession – I’d never seen this all the way through! Great gore, effective melodrama and side-boobage. Who could ask for anything more?

CAVEMAN’S VALENTINE – Samuel L. Jackson is really weird, has dreads and is one helluva piano player. If Romulus Ledbetter (Jackson’s character name in CV), Foxx from THE SOLOIST and Wesley Willis ever form a band, I will be front row. Rodney Eastman aka Joey from Elm Street 3 and 4 also shows off his acting chops in this as well.

5/22

HACK! – SCREAM inspired but did that movie have Winnie Cooper, the asshole villain from KARATE KID III, Drusilla and Paulie from ROCKY in it? Didn’t think so!

HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW (1980) – The surreal, sedative-induced sequence at the end of this film makes the movie for me. The killer’s reveal is effective too,  mainly because it delves into the past, revealing one character’s sordid history that the co-eds are suddenly forced to deal with. I would’ve liked to see more praise heaped on this flick when the remake hit, but we were all too caught up with the fact that Princess Leia wields a shotgun and says ‘fuck’ a lot.

STRANGE BEHAVIOR (1981) – Love this flick! Very atmospheric, very creepy and very ahead of its time. The local clinic is giving kids cash to be guinea pigs, but what they don’t know is the fact that they are actually being programmed to kill! Eeek! Great make up effects and a fantastic reveal towards the end make this one surprisingly tense and downright disturbing at times. So of course it comes highly recommended.

THE FAN (1996) – “Do you care now?” This is vintage Tony Scott and although NIN is played way too much throughout the film, it’s a great double feature with TAXI DRIVER or CAPE FEAR and certainly features the best performance by Wesley Snipes to date.

5/23

SCREAM – Still fun. Still responsible for the new era of American horror. It’s a classic, whether you like it or not. Deal with it.

INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE – This one is better than I remember it. Neil Jordan did a fine job, but what would a DePalma or Schumaker version have looked like? It’s hard not to think about River Phoenix when seeing Christina Slater on screen, knowing that the young actor was set to play the part of the journalist before his death.

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HIGH LIFE (2009)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 21, 2010

Date: 5/14/2010         Format: Netflix Instant

Director: Gary Yates

Starring: Timothy “Look Frodo, it’s an…” Olyphant

If you want to see Olyphant in his one and only long-hair stoner role acting like a complete jackball, then this is the film for you. He and his partner in crime are probably the dumbest criminals around, but it’s entertaining to see them try and convince each other that they aren’t total losers. It’s a rental.

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SPREAD (2009)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 5, 2010

When I first heard about this flick, I thought it might me a worthy follow-up to THE PICK-UP ARTIST starring Robert Downey, Jr. But @aplusk ain’t no RDJ and wanders through the frame grumbling his lines. He also goes swimming a lot. Still, it’s worth a watch if you’re in the right mood and have your lotions out.

Date: 5/1/10      Format: Netflix Instant

Director: David Mackenzie

Starring: @aplusk

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ASSSSCAT (2008)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 5, 2010

Date: 4/30/10      Format: Netflix Instant

Director: Eric Cochran

Starring: Matt Besser, Amy Poehler, Matt Walsh, Ian Roberts

I’ve been listening to a lot of the Comedy Death Ray podcast as of late, and fished around the Netflix Instant pond to try and find some UCB stuff and came across this. The improv troop has been doing a format like this for years: an audience member does a word association, a special guest MC riffs on it, then the group acts out what was covered in said riff. Hilarity ensues.

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TICKED OFF TRANNIES WITH KNIVES (2010)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 5, 2010

Date: 4/30/2010      Location: Chelsea Theaters – Tribeca Film Fest

Directors: Israel Luna
Cast: Krystal Summers, Kelexis Davenport, William Belli, Erica Andrews, Jenna Skyy

You had me at the title. TICKED OFF TRANNIES WITH KNIVES was one of the most buzzed about films at Tribeca this year and you want to know why? Yep, the title. It’s a title that is tailor made for the midnight slot. Hell, at this point it’s hard to remember which came first – midnight movies or the exploitation genre. Now, since grind house went art house, exploitation has received a lot of overdue praise. Directors like Jack Hill (COFFEE, SWITCHBLADE SISTERS, SPIDER BABY) and Brian Trenchard-Smith (TURKEY SHOOT, DEAD END DRIVE-IN) have been embraced by a larger audience lately, largely due to the cultural influence of younger director’s like Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez and Craig Brewer. They helped make cult cool.

Read the rest of my review Here!

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ZONAD (2010)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 5, 2010

Date: 4/29/10     Location: Village East Cinemas – Tribeca Film Fest

Directors: John Carney, Kieran Carney
Cast: Simon Delaney, David Murray, Slaine Kelly

The Irish are known for two things: poetry and drinking. Some of the greatest creative minds have come from the land of 1000 welcomes while others have squandered the opportunity to carry on the great literary tradition of Ireland by drowning in Guinness and pub spillage. In ZONAD, a great mind of a different breed descends upon the sleepy, quaint village of Ballymoran in the form of an overweight alien with an overgrown bicycle helmet who proceeds to become the town hero whilst consuming as much alcohol as possible.

Read the rest of my review Here!

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ON REPEAT: Chasing Infinite Illusions in Space with a Scepter

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on April 22, 2010

Date: 4/17/2010 – 4/25/2010    Location: Home Theater

CHASING AMY

By far, this is @ThatKevinSmith’s best and one of my fave indie films to come out during the independent explosion of the ’90s. The writing is sharp and the dramatic moments have an emotional weight that Smith’s other films never even approach. I love the first 20 minutes, especially!

NICK AND NORAH’S INFINITE PLAYLIST

Oh…the Kat Dennings crush continues…and as Norah she just knows the city so damn well! That’s actually what I like most about watching it. I first saw the flick at the Paladium in Brooklyn and had just moved to the city. Now, I live in Chinatown, a rock’s throw away from most of the locales in INFINITE from Arlene’s Grocery to Crash Mansion to Veselka.

THE ILLUSIONIST

One part PRESTIGE and two parts USUAL SUSPECTS, this one appealed to me more the second time around. There’s a lot of intrigue and the supernatural elements are downright spooky! I spoke with Rufus Sewell, who plays the villainous Prince Leopold when VINYAN (shout out to Fantastic Fest) came out on DVD and I regret not mentioning THE ILLUSIONIST.

AVATAR

Still jaw-dropping.

THE SCORE

One of the top 10 heist films of all time? Also, since Edward Norton plays two roles he does not, in fact, go full retard.

Rudd at the Movies: ROLE MODELS & I LOVE YOU MAN

I miss your whispering eye. LARPers. Masturbation station. Slappin da’ bass.

A L I E N

How was this flick shot in 1979 when no one could even come close to making a film of this caliber in 2010?

ALIENS

This is the one I grew up with but watching both flicks back to back, I can see some of the reasons why some feel like the sequel turned the creature into cannon fodder. Still, it’s a near perfect sci-fi actioneer and it was definitely a family favorite growing up. My Mom even kinda looked like Ripley…I think that’s why she liked it so much. RIP Mom!

DOGMA, SNATCH, LOCK, STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS

Been catching a lot of flicks on Atdhe.net that links to a Justin.tv channel called Movie Lounge. The films play on a loop and always have a common thread that connects each movie. DOGMA features Jason Lee who was in STEALING HARVARD with Dennis Farina who is also in SNATCH…you get the idea. It’s a good way to knock out a few flicks and it’s a good method for finding double features.

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DATE NIGHT

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on April 22, 2010

Director: Shawn Levy

Starring: Tina Fey, Steve Carell

Date: 4/21/10 Location: Home Theater

When first seeing the posters for DATE NIGHT, I pictured Fey and Carell embarking on a first date that spirals out of control instead of a married couple trying to re-kindle the spark in their relationship. As a result, we’ll probably have to sit through a few melodramatic moments between the two, but this should still be a fun ride nevertheless. Movies like BLIND DATE, ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING, and even the classic AFTER HOURS come to mind when thinking of DATE NIGHT for me. They all have the same theme in common where one extraordinary night can be truly eye-opening and even life-changing. Sadly, this movie ain’t that.

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