CELLUROIDS: A Movie Tally Site

I SEE YOU aka D-TOX (2002)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on June 1, 2010

Stallone makes the best straight-to-DVD movies out there, and this is no exception. The cast is stellar: Robert Patrick, Tom Berenger, Sean Patrick Flannery, Jeffrey Wright, Charles Durning just to name a few. This could have been the cast of THE EXPENDABLES and I would have been fine with that.

Everyone is a cop with a problem, so they’ve been sent away to the Outpost #31 of rehab centers, only to find out that one of their demons – namely Stallone’s – has been let out of the bottle so to speak…

Tagged with: ,


Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on June 1, 2010

Date: 5/27       Format: Netflix Instant


Great casting makes this perfectly watchable…it’s a good rent and cuddle. That being said, the two teens spend a shocking amount of time in the pool out back, and more people really should have died.


Starring: Paul Rudd and Romany Malco

Rudd and Malco play brothers from anotha motha that inherit a French Chateau only to find out it is in a state of total disrepair with a staff that has no intention of leaving in peace. It’s kind of like Mr. Blandings meets Mr. Apatow with a cute French girl thrown in for good measure.

It’s worth a watch just to see Rudd trying to speak French…

Tagged with: ,

CLUE (1985), WILD LIFE (1984), HELL NIGHT (1981)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on June 1, 2010

CLUE (1985)

Director: Jonathan Lynn

Starring: Eileen Brennan, Tim Curry, Madeline Kahn, Colleen Camp and her boobs

The actor that plays Mr. Body is also in WILD LIFE and STREETS OF FIRE. Why is this important? It’s not, really.

WILD LIFE (1984)

Director: Art Linson

Writer: Cameron Crowe

Starring: Eric Stoltz, Chris Penn, Rick Moranis, Lea Thompson, Jenny Wright

This is the forgotten film of the ’80s, but it still served as the template for future teen comedies but the film never gets that acknowledgement. FAST TIMES got all of the attention because of how it dealt with the issue of teen pregnancy. WILD LIFE as all the fun of FAST TIMES, with none of the melodrama. It also features a lazy but somehow note perfect “score” by Eddie Van Halen, who probably just went through his vast collection of recorded licks from 5150 and matched them up accordingly. The film still hasn’t been released on DVD, but it will get its due soon enough.


Director: Tom DeSimone

Starring: Linda Blair, Vincent Van Patten

Vincent Van Patten is a total noob. I hadn’t seen this since Best of QT Fest in 2006. It’s now OOP, but you can find it if you look. This is my favorite Linda Blair performance, and the first time that she was looked at as a sex symbol. It’s frat horror at its best and I’m sure Platinum Dunes will remake it soon enough…

Tagged with: ,

Fincher Features: SE7EN (1995), PANIC ROOM (2002)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on June 1, 2010

Date: 5/25    Format: AVI

Director: David Fincher


Starring: Jodie Foster, K-Stew, Dwight Yoakam, Nicole Kidman’s voice

Tense, funny, horrific and Fincher’s first fantasy film since there is no way you would ever find a Brownstone like that on the Upper West Side. K-Stew before she was a waif phenom and a fun cameo from Nicole Kidman as the woman on the other end of the phone. Kidman was originally set to star, but injured herself on the set of the Grand Guignol-meets-Glee feature film MOULIN ROUGE directed by Baz Luhrmann.

SE7EN (1995)

Starring: Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, Lex Luthor and Pepper Potts

For how dark and twisted this film is, it still feels decidedly mainstream and the success of the film was a great example of how audiences can embrace something original and turn it into a cultural event. This is a perfectly conceived and executed film, and if you haven’t seen it in a while, do yourself a favor and let yourself be reminded what an incredible piece of entertainment this is. (The number in the name is its only flaw.)

Tagged with: ,

QUICK LIST: 5/18-5/23

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 24, 2010


WHAT WOMEN WANT – The chemistry between Gibson and Hunt really is electric, the Sinatra hat-dance is a treat, and if IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE is too heavy for you, this is Capra-lite at its finest.

MEET THE FOCKERS – DeNiro has a man-boob and Gaylord’s parents have a great sex life…and scene. Is THE LITTLE FOCKERS still in the works?

JUST FRIENDS – Ryan Reynolds in a fat suit makes me happy…but not because it’s funny.


RED HOOK – Avoid at all costs! The premise sucks you in, beware! A group of college kids from Jersey go on a NYC scavenger hunt and things go horribly wrong. See? Sounds interesting, right? It’s not. Even if you live in New York, it’s not worth seeing some of your favorite spots and the kills are all off camera and totally generic.

ROBIN HOOD – Bootleg. It slows in the middle and the final battle seems rushed and unimportant but this film is getting bashed up against the rocks unfairly in my opinion. Still, Scott and co. should have injected more of a sense of fun into the proceedings.


FAY GRIM – Technically, you don’t have to see Hal Hartley’s HENRY FOOL in order to enjoy its quirky film noir sequel, but it wouldn’t hurt. Odd angles and odd characters + a rabbit hole of a script make this and most of the director’s movies worth catching.

CANDYMAN – Confession – I’d never seen this all the way through! Great gore, effective melodrama and side-boobage. Who could ask for anything more?

CAVEMAN’S VALENTINE – Samuel L. Jackson is really weird, has dreads and is one helluva piano player. If Romulus Ledbetter (Jackson’s character name in CV), Foxx from THE SOLOIST and Wesley Willis ever form a band, I will be front row. Rodney Eastman aka Joey from Elm Street 3 and 4 also shows off his acting chops in this as well.


HACK! – SCREAM inspired but did that movie have Winnie Cooper, the asshole villain from KARATE KID III, Drusilla and Paulie from ROCKY in it? Didn’t think so!

HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW (1980) – The surreal, sedative-induced sequence at the end of this film makes the movie for me. The killer’s reveal is effective too,  mainly because it delves into the past, revealing one character’s sordid history that the co-eds are suddenly forced to deal with. I would’ve liked to see more praise heaped on this flick when the remake hit, but we were all too caught up with the fact that Princess Leia wields a shotgun and says ‘fuck’ a lot.

STRANGE BEHAVIOR (1981) – Love this flick! Very atmospheric, very creepy and very ahead of its time. The local clinic is giving kids cash to be guinea pigs, but what they don’t know is the fact that they are actually being programmed to kill! Eeek! Great make up effects and a fantastic reveal towards the end make this one surprisingly tense and downright disturbing at times. So of course it comes highly recommended.

THE FAN (1996) – “Do you care now?” This is vintage Tony Scott and although NIN is played way too much throughout the film, it’s a great double feature with TAXI DRIVER or CAPE FEAR and certainly features the best performance by Wesley Snipes to date.


SCREAM – Still fun. Still responsible for the new era of American horror. It’s a classic, whether you like it or not. Deal with it.

INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE – This one is better than I remember it. Neil Jordan did a fine job, but what would a DePalma or Schumaker version have looked like? It’s hard not to think about River Phoenix when seeing Christina Slater on screen, knowing that the young actor was set to play the part of the journalist before his death.

Tagged with: , ,

Double Feature: BOOT CAMP (2008), SURVIVAL QUEST (1989)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 21, 2010

Date: 5/17/2010         Format: Netflix Instant


Director: Christian Duguay

Starring: Peter Stormare, Mila Kunis

Every year, hundreds of  troubled teens are sent off to Boot Camp disciplinary retreats. There have been numerous deaths attributed to these camps, and I’m willing to bet most of them happened at the camp that Peter Stormare runs. It is hardcore, man.

Mila Kunis is sent to a remote island in Fiji where a number of kids are subjected to forced labor and abusive drills and exercises. What’s interesting is the fact that some of the kids, and even out starlet at one point, feel that this is actually a healthy environment that is doing them some good. In fact, there are positive aspects to the camp, so the argument can legitimately be made that, while very strict, this experience is ultimately beneficial.

Then everything goes to shit. This flick surprised me. Definitely recommended.


Director: Don Coscarelli

Starring: Lance Henricksen, Dermot Mulroney, Catherine Keener, Reggie Bannister

“In the wilderness, you can’t dial 911.”

This one’s a real gem. Seek it out at all costs.

from IMDB: “There are two sets of campers on California’s Sierra Madre Mountain. One group is the Blue Legion, a gun-happy squad of teenage boys under the command of survivalist Jake Cannon. The other group, Survival Quest, is a sort of backpacking self-help group led by gentle mountain man Hank Chambers. The Survival Quest group includes smart-aleck Joey, fragile divorcee Cheryl, and alienated convict Gray. Through various exercises and object lessons, Hank teaches his crew how to work together. Jake is harassing the Survival Quest group. When a viciously ill-mannered Blue Legion member named Raider ends up shooting Hank, this angers Jake to no end. While Jake was harassing the Survival Quest group, Jake actually wanted no one to get shot. Jake starts beating Raider up, and Raider responds by shooting Jake and blaming it on the Survival Quest group. Now led by Raider, the Blue Legion plans to kill the Survival Quest members. Cheryl is now in charge of the Survival Quest group, because they think Hank is dead. They work together and race through the wilderness in an attempt to get to the nearest airstrip, while Raider and his group follow them with every intention of killing them.”

Tagged with: ,

On Repeat: Elm Street Marathon: The Dream Trilogy & FREDDY’S DEAD

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 21, 2010

Managed to knock out the remaining Nightmare films I hadn’t re-watched since seeing the ELM STREET LEGACY doc. Yep, DREAM CHILD is still the worst, DREAM MASTER is still my fave with FREDDY’S DEAD being a close second. DREAM WARRIORS is the clear winner in terms of mass appeal but I hold parts 4 and 6 in high esteem for personal reasons.

My Dad came into my life again when I was about 1o or so, sat me down, and asked me if it would be okay if we started spending time together after years of being estranged. I said, ‘take me to see DREAM MASTER’ and I’ll think about it. We went that night. When FREDDY’S DEAD came out, me and my friends went to Northcross Mall every Friday for six weeks to see it, bringing more kids with us each time. We owned the theater and Freddy was our hero.

Tagged with:

On Repeat: CARLITO’S WAY (1993)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 21, 2010

Date: 5/15/2010         Format: Netflix Instant

Director: Brian DePalma

Starring: Al Pacino, Sean Penn, John Leguizamo

Yes, the unofficial sequel to SCARFACE still holds up, but the patented DePalma melodrama falls flat here, mostly due to the fact that Pacino (and DeNiro for that matter) are not romantic leads and they never will be. Interestingly, the only time Pacino was believable in a love story was with his SCARFACE co-star Michelle Pfeifer in FRANKIE & JOHNNY.

Shoot out at the end is reminiscent of THE UNTOUCHABLES -just not as operatic and more intense – and of course it all ends in tragedy. As it should.

Tagged with:

HIGH LIFE (2009)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 21, 2010

Date: 5/14/2010         Format: Netflix Instant

Director: Gary Yates

Starring: Timothy “Look Frodo, it’s an…” Olyphant

If you want to see Olyphant in his one and only long-hair stoner role acting like a complete jackball, then this is the film for you. He and his partner in crime are probably the dumbest criminals around, but it’s entertaining to see them try and convince each other that they aren’t total losers. It’s a rental.

Tagged with:

GRACE (2009)

Posted in tallyteers 2010 by dtinnin on May 21, 2010

Date: 5/14/2010         Format: Netflix Instant

Director: Paul Solet

Starring: Jordan Ladd, a freaky blood thirsty baby

Solet and producer Adam Green joined us on Fangoria Radio several times during the run of GRACE, but I never got around seeing it until now. First of all, I’m grateful for seeing this film in the comfort of my own home vs. a theater here in NYC. Why, you ask? Well, GRACE is probably the ultimate scream-at-the-screen, “Bitch, what the hell you doin?!”, kind of movie I’ve seen in quite some time. The actions of Jordan Ladd – who gives birth to a dead baby that comes back to life with some serious complications – are downright bizarre and utterly unrelatable at times.

Still, she loves the kid, regardless of the fact that it wants blood instead of milk (literally), and the film is a fun, self-contained, squirm-in-your-seat horror flick that deserves the attention it’s gotten. That being said, Adam Green is one helluva promoter, and genre fans should lower their expectations a bit.

Tagged with: